Waiting in the We

All our lives we have been trained as one with one common goal: find a wealthy and titled husband. We wear the same dresses. We attend the same balls. We live the same lives. That is the way of our society. Spend our lives in preparation for our inevitable future of marriage and the continuation of the cycle that has taken place for centuries. There is no way out. We marry and force ourselves to find one shred of happiness in the lives that have been forced upon us or be shunned from society into a life of misery.

Today is the day that our lives have been leading to: the first ball. We spend hours instructing our lady’s maids on the style of hair we have chosen. We pick out the dress that had been set aside for this day. We wear our families jewels with honor. We hope that tonight we will have a dance card filled with names of lords, dukes, and marquises. We know that tonight will set the tone for our future.

Our carriages arrive to the estate and we enter with our arms intertwined with our mothers preparing us to be the next ones in the succession of her life. We enter and mingle.

We gossip with one another about the ones who are on the cusp of being shunned until we are approached. A titled gentleman requesting a dance. We gracefully agree with glee inside and take his arm. He leads us onto the dance floor and leads us through the dance and the conversation. We answer his questions with the responses that have been ingrained into us. We list off all of our skills, hoping to set ourselves apart from one another. As the song concludes he thanks us for the dance before returning to some other gentleman.

The ball concludes and we return home to our estates hoping and praying that in the morning someone will call upon us. As we sleep, all we can think of is which of the gentlemen we danced with will be our future husband. We imagine our lives together. The children we will have, the estates we shall run, and the balls we shall throw. We sleep through the night with smiles on our faces.

Once the sun has reached the sky we are awoken and begin to prepare for the callers. We wear a dress that is the favorite color of our most desired suitor.

And then we wait.

And wait.

And wait.

The footman opens the door and we perk back up hoping that it is someone we could see a life with. But it isn’t.It is a titled man we had no desire to converse with. We are forced into a discussion as he compliments our skill sets and our appearance. He makes a comment that we will have beautiful children together. Once he leaves we wait wishing that someone better will walk through that door.

But we wait.

And wait.

And wait.

No other suitor wanted to entertain the thought of marrying us.

The gentleman continues to call upon us. Every time he enters the room we feel uncomfortable in his presence. After days of no other arrivals our fathers begin to invite him over. We witness them in our father's office discussing our dowries. They exit the room and approach us and he makes a speech about his love for us and the future he will be able to provide us. But that is not what I want.